Motherhood 101

I’ve decided that one of the main themes of my blog will be motherhood. I’m definitely not an expert, but with two children of my own and twenty eight hears of experience as a primary teacher, I do know a little about the subject. Mostly, I’ll share where I went wrong, hoping anyone who reads this can profit from my mistakes. My own little angels are now seventeen and twenty-one and I can assure you I was one relieved mother when Time magazine came out with the feature story last year about U.S. children not being officially grownup until their twenty-sixth birthday. Thank God, I thought, there is still hope for the first one and maybe they’ll up it to twenty eight for the second one. My easy going daughter came first and her somewhat less pliable brother arrived three and a half years later. It’s a good thing she was first, because the prospect of raising two of him might have scared me off. Just kidding!
I wouldn’t trade the past twenty two years for any amount of money or great vacations, but I also am highly against anyone taking on parenthood without a huge amount of soul searching and planning before hand. The teacher in me is saying that. I’ve seen way too many little folks who deserved more than they got in the way of parents. So, even though I promise that the majority if my posts will be upbeat and positive, I’m starting off with a good old fashioned rant against parenthood.
Motherhood is a tough job. It is not for those who give up easily, because the longer you’re in it, the harder it gets. People who look at a precious little baby, and think oh, I want one too, should think long and hard about what about what they’re getting into and the reasons they want to do it. If you’re looking for something to fulfill you and make you happy, think twice. Your happiness is a heavy responsibility to lay on someone so small and everyone deserves a parent who already has a handle on their own happiness. It also helps if you have finished with your own childhood. Kids don’t need another playmate. They need a parent who’s in charge.
Make darn sure you really know what your priorities are. If you like your freedom and have a hard time sharing your time and space, don’t have a child. Don’t get a dog either. Even a dog deserves more. Consider how important your career really is to you. I am not saying being a "stay at home" mother is the only answer, but the career can’t outweigh the importance of the child. Trust me, after twenty eight years of teaching, I can assure you stay at home mothers don’t have a monopoly on raising children. I’ve seen really well adjusted children who’s mothers have chosen either path, and I’ve also seen children of both who weren’t so well adjusted. I’ve also seen children from families who could afford "fabulous" live in nannies. Beware, the person who truly spends the quality time with a child also enjoys the closest bond with that child, so if you’re not willing to do it yourself, I recommend a cat. Scratch that. Even a cat deserves more.
You also should consider that kids cost money, and some times a lot of it. I'm not talking about toys, fancy clothes, and all the latest gadgets. Lord knows I could write for days about all the money I've wasted on junk they didn't really need, but children do need a warm safe home, medical attention, and food. Be as sure as possible that you have that area covered before you become a parent.
I guess to sum it all up, make sure you're a GROWNUP before you have a child. If you've got lots of guts, patience, love in your heart, ambition, and energy, and want to leave this world to be a better place when your time is up, have a child and raise it right. But be prepared for an unpredictable and sometimes bumpy ride, but it's also the best ride you'll ever take.